omissions

thank you guys for your (once again) cheerleading. the title is a response to scooter's comment in particular. it got me to thinking about everything that i am and do hold back when i write this blog. not really a lead in to me revealing anything deep and dark. maybe later.

tonight was our 'name find / chord color find' meditation. i hate the name and not crazy abou tthe colors. the colors are effing xmas - white; red and green. the name i am holding off on because i'm supposed to see if it takes or if it evolves. what i mean is - for instance - mine was the name of my shamanism teacher who died but was it because she appeared to me and should it be her name or her spirit animal - - - that kind of thing - you are supposed to sleep on it a little. but i hate the name - oh, and it's gideon's sister's name too whooohooo

song on my mind


lyric on my mind:
. . and everything you gave to me changed everything i used to be much more than anyone i ever knew

but i have long shiny hair - yay!

i have to say - i'm extraordinarily disconnected as of late. there's nothing to bring this more to your own attention than looking into your child's eyes. i'm not coming down on myself. it's more just bizarre - it's like i'm not really here.

i think the word you're searching for is absent.