the hip is really aggravating me. tomorrow i get cracked and then they stick a giant needle in my hip full of lidocaine. and i have so much work tomorrow. uck. i just need tomorrow to be over.
i'm feeling increasingly worried about childcare for my kids. hehe kids.
the 21st is creeping up on me and i'd say it was making me sadder but i don't think i ever felt less sad. the tattoo - i'm thinking maybe the 25th is smarter anyway - that was when i found out. i suppose it's gotten a little better. i've gotten used to the idea that when my mind reaches out - there's no him there; no connection. i've almost completely stopped reaching out. old habits and all i guess. i've nearly come to grips with the idea that alone is alone. it was bad timing anyway; i was already at a crisis of faith in terms of relationships of all kinds.
we were kinetic. we were connected. there are so many things that i know why they end. there are more things that i don't understand why they won't end. but then it doesn't really make a fuck of difference what i understand and what i don't, huh?
yes, the video itself is silly
3 comments:
I like that song but the video OMG his pants. Her makeup. wow
I'm glad you feel a little less all consumed with your loss. The tattoo?
i know the video is horrid but i didn't feel like searching for a gazillion hours.
yeah, actually that is kind of the opposite of what i meant. i think i'm sorta completely consumed. just live inside of it now.
and i know - i shouldnt be that way
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