lazy . . . but kinda revealing

AIGH - maybe one of these days someone can tell me why my italics and bold sporadically don't show up.

i wanted to post poetry today. i found these and they actually aren't far off from my current state of things.


I'm tired
I mean TIE - AHHHD

of my yo-yoing BCP hormones
without the privilege of bareback
of pretending to work
of charming people in and then
repelling them with nuerosis and apathy
of the nuerosis and apathy themselves
of not feeling safe
of living in alternating states
of fastidiousness and squalor
of the flicker of the tv
of constant daydreaming
of just keeping above water
of not wanting what i wanted
of looking outside myself
and picking apart the inside

of insomnia
_________

Days have become gray dismal and gaudy
Boston's se of cranes
In the never ending pursuit for better highways
I've begun reading Bukowski for the solace

To work and home; home and work
Each door locks the sound
Of everything I haven't done
And driving is the low level
Angst of stop and go
With sharp shorts of
Near collision breathing
________

and one just cuz it tickles me

pebble and rain
and a watching window pane
a time to read what you sew
words like fabric and maize
i'm hardly ever openly sane

eh - come on now - it beats hearing about my day