fantastic craftsmanship

post for scooter . . . and chris

first there's this video from one of my favorite tv shows.

but mostly i wanted to tell you that carl and i were talking and he told me that it has become fashionable and a selling point for stock brokers to list on their resumes that they have a touch of asperger's syndrome (which i just misspelled at first - and earlier today i couldn't spell agamemnon - i think i'm losing it)

also interesting blogger's spell check doesn't recognize asperger's

anyway, i wanted to tell you that and i also wanted to take that and chris' comment on my post and suggest that we start an ocd cleaning company. i would hire them.

you can't teach an old dogma new tricks - dorothy parker

first of all, before i forget yet again, Andrea - every time i see those new BK commercials with the cow chasing a guy who is eating chicken i think of you. as i said before i don't really have a moral issue with eating meat but it's a bit much that a cow is pissed you are eating a chicken sandwich?

but that's not why i'm here - i'm here to say that bugs don't belong in houses. i don't have a really big problem with bugs per se when they are OUTSIDE where they soooo belong. that said i think we have won the war of the fleas and are down to very tiny battles.

when i lived in KCMO, hereafter referred to as "God's Taint" and as stated in previous post that would be _your_ god not mine . . . mine has no taint :)

this god is your god, this god is my god
from the mighty sun ra, to thor's hammer
from red-haired brighid, to the christ messiah
this god was made for me and you

thank you - thank you very much i will be here . . . well, idk, for a while.

anyhoo, let me return you now to God's Taint. during part of my time served i lived on a streetnamed locust - best i can tell it was thusly named because that was the only bug we DIDN'T have in the house. course at that time i was well, sorta out of it headed into my nervous breakdown. that's about the only thing that kept me from losing it altogether. here's a little trick i learned though - bowl or plate of soapy water with a light right over it = flea trap.

so here's another thing that annoys me - when people say we have to save the planet. no, people, we really don't - what we have to save is our own asses. the planet like anything else seeks equilibrium and if we are the thing in the way of that then we will be the thing removed. capice?

you may be OCD if . . .

you feel compelled to blog about your new floor/rug steam cleaner. OMG i am sooooo in love with this thing. not to mention horrified at just how fricking dirty things are. i've cleaned all these floors often and recently and yet ewwww . . . otoh, it's a little troublesome cuz today i was in a room that yesterday i steam cleaned and there was some dust on the floor and i could sorta feel myself compelled to redo the whole house. hmm, yeah, it's probably best i leave this subject be - i am one very tiny word away from going full on crazy pants on this one.

so first of all, how come i changed the title of my blog and it doesn't show up as changed on y'all blogrolls

next - where the hell is chris?

okay so, i had to go to a christianing this past sunday. not only did i have to go but i had to stand in for one of the godmother's (twins) . yippee skippeee so i almost fell outta the fricking pew when up walked three altar girls and two women lecterns. i was tempted to turn to the family and say 'y'all are still catholic, right?'

then the priest says "he could heal the sick, cure any illness" or something like that but he said it in a singsongy way that was QUITE reminiscent of King Missile's 'jesus was way cool'. which reminds me i don't know if mark was implying that i should feel badly about jesusdressup.com but as a recovering catholic and a member of a religion from whose roots most of the bibles stories were pilfered . . . if i can laugh at my religion then you can laugh at yours!

all of which i thought of because it's been a long time since i was in a church and once again i was struck by the fact that there is a half naked man dripping blood with his ribs hanging out. is this a religion or a sadomasochism convention? i mean, quite honestly the frank and shocking depiction of suffering is very old school pagan. even us heathens tend to try and steer clear of the gratuitous gore these days. and i understand that it's something to remind us that 'christ died for our sins' but best i can tell if he isn't fully dead in this depiction the lights have definitely gone out. how about a depiction of him appearing to thomas or allowing judas to kiss him - - isn't that more apt?

and that segues me to the next thing - everyone was like "oh the church is gonna burn down / lightening . . .yadda yadda" cuz i'm a witch. i actually got called an atheist which is fairly annoying cuz meanwhile they all go up for communion - i know half of them haven't been to confession since high school.

hmm - none of this is what i intended to post about - well, except my floor cleaner - effing thing is AWEOME . . . but for the life of me i'm at a loss for what WAS on my mind. that said i will tag this religion cuz it _will_ come up again.

very weird -

i just noticed that the post i lost- or though i lost whatever. when i found it and reposted it posted BEFORE the one i started later but posted first. so basically if i start a post today but don't actually publish it until next week - it will show up on the date it was begun??

in the words of captain jack sparrow - a boogey snickle snickle

effing dammit mothereffing grrrrrrr

i just lost a giant blog . . . a lot of which centered around the fact that i have a lot of frustration. guess, how i feel NOW?????

DRIVEBY BLOGGING - - recovered

i have a lot of stuff going on in my head and i kept thinking i needed to form full thoughts and/or stories about them before blogging but eh - fugg it.

first of all there are 1200 bloggers whose "interests" are 'your mom' which surprised me. i thought there would be more.

so women almost invariably pick a guy over their girlfriends. and i don't get it. i never have. and believe me i focus (well, at least i have in the past) ALOT - a tremendous amount! - of time on men/ boys / their attentions etc. and yet friends always came first. in fact, if i was "on the hunt" so to speak (back in the day that is - sigh ) i liked to go alone so i didn't have to run the risk of ignoring a friend or not hooking up. it isn't so much a statement of moral judgement i am making as much as that i find it truly perplexing. and no his isn't a men vs. women issue - i realize that 'friends' may include men but that isn't what i'm talking about.

i am supposed to go see Chelsea Handler tomorrow night. i may back out. but she's good. for those of you that don't know her she wrote a book "are you there vodka, it's me chelsea". i'm gonna try to attach a small video clip of her but i'm not sure if i can do it.

so kim - thanks for the hint - i still lost about half the post that i don't intend to try to recreate but something is more gratifying then nothing :) i knew about that but i thought it lost because when i called the post up it had the title and the label and nothing in between. but lo and behold!! and yes mark, i am already a firefoxeee

i will leave you with this - FUCKING FLEAS!!!!!!

i am truly beginning to hate my life

another unsolicited movie review

to wong foo - thanks for everything

seriously underrated. because of that movie i will watch anything with patrick swayze, john leguizamo or wesley snipes.

other than that - i took ia day off today. just a day off. i mean i did some shit around the house; hung out with the kid a bit and all, but mostly, just a day off. i didn't even answer any work emails. it was fantabulous - - - FAN tab U lowSSS!!

pretty fantastic but missing a certain je ne sais quoi

we went to see the dark knight - at a theater that serves beer btw; an idea whose time has come again - it was really good and yet was missing something. i am still a little bit at a loss to come up with exactly what it is missing but i will tell you this - anyone i should have "felt" for i really didnt'. know what i mean? the whole empathy thing not so much there. otoh - heath ledger - yeah, it's not people speaking kindly of the dead - he was really good. let me put it to you this way - i looohoove(D) him and yet through the whole movie no matter how hard i looked i could find no trace of the guy i thought was so hot. in further praise i actually was on the edge of my seat a couple of times and i can tell you that i am just jaded enough that that almost never happens.

alright - gotta go i've decided to get squiffy tonight. :) kiskis

Pity Party

note : all caps added by carl

so we went to my friend's daughter's party today. it was fine - typical three year old party. however, my kid has been overtired for a couple of days now. so he was fine for most of the day until the end. he had a little tantrum at one point. and then generally just started losing it a little - oh and he had his first bit of candy today so that didn't help i'm sure. which btw, he had laffytaffy, and stored it under his lip like chew. anyway, i was so upset by the way he behaved. much more than i should be and i know it. on the way home i was in tears. so i tried following the thread out and this is what i've worked out.

i'm upset because i think people are judging him. i mean of course i'm upset that maybe they are judging me too - sure - but truly that isn't the worst of it. so instead of walking you through the step by step . . . it comes down to - i don't belong. i've been more or less ostracized long before i understood that it was happening. and it breaks my heart to think of him going through any of that. i think that's all i can do on that subject at the moment.

HI FATHER FEELS VERY SIMILAR WHEN HE TAKE HIM TO THE PGROUND AND HE DOESN"T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS _ NOT JUDGING ETC, BUT THAT THEY WILL MAKE FUN OF HUM AND SHUN HIM, WHICH HAPPENED TO HIS FATHER

on a happier note carl is forcing me to watch the olympics which i'm not entirely thrilled about but beach volleyball is on today - hot amazons in teeny bikinis, oh, excuse me "sports bikinis". what could be better. and since our president was hanging out in the sand with them i think we now know why he's there. PS WHEN I GOT HOME MALE GYMNASTICS WUZ ON AND I LOVED THAT, MM-HMM

We MUST be over the rainbow . . .

. . . cuz a dream really did come true.

"we're not going nowhere, we're not going nowhere, we're not going nowhere, not at all"
this should be sung to the tune of jungle fever while doing a _very_ white version of the cabbage patch.

so miracles of miracle . . . our flight was canceled and we couldn't get one that would get us there in time for the wedding/reunion thingy. well, we could of - if it was on standby but there was nooooo way i was going to take a two year old on standby.

i think maybe "the secret" works cuz i sure as shit was mentally pushing for this to not happen.

there's more but i'm tY red. plus if "the secret" really does work . . . jensen ackles is upstairs waiting for me.

E I C . . . turtle

so carl has decided it is time to teach the child to spell and thereby read. now, he is my boy and so of course i think he's near perfect. and i have started to accept the fact that he's pretty smart. point in fact, i'm fairly certain that by the time he's eight carl and i are gonna be obsolete. he'll begin to look at us with disdain as he realizes that we are both one small step away from mouth breathing. well, that one of us is a small step away and the other is drooling out the corner of his big fat yap!! oh, wait, i should have been thinking that not typing it.

yeah, digression and all . . . anyway, we have the wooden blocks with letters on one side, numbers on the other and pictures of animals and fruits etc on the others. so Carl takes these blocks and spells cat and says " C A T . . . cat, Malachai you say it, C A T . . . cat " so Malachai repeats it and Carl is pleased. Not five minutes later Malachai picks up random blocks and says
"E I C . . . turtle"

No Exception

"I don't know why you can't just accept me the way I am"

This statement is a triple threat of annoyance: hypocritical, arrogant and ignorant. Very few statements can lay claim to such variety.

Anyway, the short answer is - we're human, i'm human, it makes it close to impossible to 'just accept'. it's not what we do. i mean, i can do it no problem if your dumb ass doesn't effect my life. but pretty much as soon as your carelessness, thoughtlessness etc-ness, etc-ness. so that covers the ignorance aspect.

now, the hypocrisy. take your own advice. if *you* think that *i* should just accept you then why don't you just accept me?? and accept that i am the kind of person who doesn't just accept people. i know it's a little circular - perhaps enough so to make it sound like i am just being flippant but i'm not. really! take your own advice. but the fact is that you can't just accept that about me because my bitching at you is directly effecting your life - -- - you see what i'm saying???

which flows right into arrogance - by not accepting me but expecting me to accept you . . . well, the rough translation is this "my shit doesn't stink"

everyone wants to be accepted or at least have exceptions made

so that's my rant. it bothers me almost all the time.

i will fess up that yes, i have, particularly in the past, been rigid. and i'm working on it. i will tell you this though - if ya thought/think i'm harsh on you . . . you wouldn't survive a minute inside my head. which leads me to the final point - - - if you want me to be more compassionate - TRY GIVING ME SOME!!

i'm actually not currently angry about this but this rant has been forming in my head for nearly forever. and i figure while i'm cleaning out my house maybe i'll start cleaning out my head a little.

you've been warned


and on a whole 'nother topic - when i watch videos liek the above . . . i want another one!! :)

if this were a quilt - it'd be really ugly

so my little boy's face is one big bruise. he pulled my ten speed on top of his head today. there was a blanket draped over it and he pulled the blanket and down it came. he has a cut right under his eye and both eyes will likely be black and there is mark on the outside of his cheek. all in time for our trip to florida for the brook's family reunion.

please goddess, someone save me from this reunion. yeah, okay, i just typed six or seven sentences and deleted them cuz i don't think i'm ready to talk about all that at the moment. at any rate, the reunion, which, best i can tell, is not actually a reunion, but simply a wedding that all the family has been invited to - is in orlando in august so that should give you some idea of how much sense all this makes. oh, and the inlaws thought it would be fun to take the kid to cape canaveral but never mentioned disneyworld. now, understand, i can't stand disney - if the whole thing fell apart tomorrow i might even be tempted throw a little party. and i realize that sugar-bean isn't going to remember it. i would never set up a trip for him at this age but we are going to be in orlando with at least one day of nothing to do . . .

i know that man can not live on bread alone but can woman live on cheerios alone? cuz lately that's all i want to eat. well, that and sandwiches (i feel like that kid in the movie 'bad santa') but we sometimes haves cheerios and almost never have sandwich fixings well, not the ones i want anyway.

i'm watching the x-files. friends of ours have a daughter named echo. if she had been a boy they were going to name her fox.

my eyes are itchy. for those of you that read my insomnia rant. it is 2.38am and there is a chance that has something to do with my itchy eyes - well that and the sorting of art supplies. if i stop taking a break and get up and move around i may well find myself staying up for another few hours - ohyeah because i took a nap this afternoon. oh, it was a glorious thing. i fell on the bed and just slept and slept and slept. for three and a half hours, only momentarily awoken by kai coming in to give me a hug :)

my poor little dude - his face is such a mess. oh, that's the other thing . we are traveling by plane this weekend. about a year ago i remember reading a story where some kid just kept saying over and and over"byebye plane; byebyeplane" until the stewardess got mad and kicked them off the plane!! so i'm a little nervous. not about him behaving or us being stranded (OH HOW I WISH), no, i'm concerned that something like that will happen and then i will be forced to kill that person.

alrighty i am going to fight my neuroses right now and go lay down.