i have finally been answering emails. i suppose that i should consider going to bed.
a NJ airport security guard was heard to say that he had cut a hole in the fence a tthe airport to be able to take a shot at obama. he was released from jail today. only held until his hearing - about three weeks. does that seem right? threaten the presidents life and go on your merry way.
this child moves so much that it literally shakes my whole body.
there were only seen of us there to bury elliott. it was hard, awkward. in some ways i thought the lack of pomp etc. was a good thing. in other ways i was very cognizant of how much the ritual is there to help and protect us. without it the emotion; the reality is stark and raw. there is no bouncing ball to watch so you are left with the complete absence of bounce. i found him so very damaging to me at a certain point that i cut myself off from him. i don't regret that decision but being here i remembered the reasons i let him in my life to begin with and kept him there for so long. in particular i had a strong empathy for his old english teacher who is somewhere around 80. he had every reason to believe that elliott would outlive him. there aren't many hierarchal tiers when it comes to death but premature death is at least that tiny tick worse than the rest. i did appreciate the lack of 'sainthood' as well. so often a wo/man dies and the next thing you know they were ready for canonization no matter what kind of evil prick they may have been here. we reminisced about his strengths and his flaws.
all the same - it'd be great if everyone stops dying for a little while.
screw you guys . . . i'm going home
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