words

it's hard for me to imagine now that there was a time that i found my mind to be a very interesting place to hang out. i won't pretend that i didn't have huge negative spots in my life and that some times i wasn't tormented by my thoughts. i used to spend a lot of tiem thinking about the origins of the universe, the nature and possibility of the existence of a divine presence, what truth was, what morality was - - and i couldn't think just muse on these things sometimes, they were on my mind nearly constantly. well, with interruptions of friendships and "boys". hmm, although actually even those things i tended to think of throught the realm of higher truth. now i don't really

so i am 21 weeks and 1 day through this pregnancy and i would be so ready for it to be over if it wasn't for the fact that i am feeling pretty scared about having baby 2 which as i understand it is fairly normalplus i don't have a real model for how one raises siblings. and to speak as frankly as possible nearly all the sibling sets i've ever seen add to my fear.